I'm Not Perfect...I'm a Mom!

I had no idea what type of mom I would be, but I did assume that patience would be one of my strongest assets since I’ve always been a fairly patient, low-key person.

Ha!

Becoming a mother not only exposed me to the most powerful and enduring love I will ever experience in my lifetime…but it also made me feel inadequate, inexperienced, insecure and at times, like a total nut job!!!

Seriously!

How the heck was I going to do this mom thing? Which hospital staff in their right mind would send a baby home with me? I had absolutely no idea what I was doing!

I felt completely alone and at a loss sometimes. Even though I had so much love and support around me; I felt as if I should know everything and be able to do everything on my own…and do it well.

But no matter how much of a ‘super mom’ you are or strive to be (and I just happened to leave my super hero cape at the cleaners…), you are not perfect and you will make mistakes. Here’s the crazy part…

It’s okay!

You don’t have to be perfect!

So, you might burn the dinner one night because you were busy tending to a ‘boo-boo’ or trying to stop your kids from strangling each other. Just call it a BBQ and enjoy.

You might forget that today is PYJAMA DAY at the daycare and have to spend the next 10 minutes consoling a very distraught toddler while still trying to make it to work before lunchtime! You were on time yesterday…almost!

You could be sewing a costume at 11pm because you forgot that your child’s first play is tomorrow!!! Sleep is overrated anyway.

There may even come a time when you break down into a sobbing mass of frustration at the tantrum your preschooler just had in the middle of the grocery store…sigh.

Let’s face it…you may have more than one of those break downs. But Mommy’s have tantrums too, you know. (Please tell me that’s not just me?!)

Between caring for our kids, our partners and possibly our parents; we will get some things wrong. We’ll get tired, fed up, frustrated and grumpy. Did I mention emotional?

That’s called Motherhood!

I am learning that my kids accept me with all of my imperfections. I've learned to acknowledge my mistakes. Mind you, my girls are kind enough to point them out to me.

Over and over and over….

There’s nothing like a 3 year old telling you that you have a ‘really, really bad memory’ or your 7 year old that rolls her eyes because you can’t remember where you left your keys.

But I do remember to tend to the scrapes and bruises; hug away the tears and nightmares; soothe hurt feelings and celebrate all of their accomplishments and at the end of the day, when my kids are happy to see me; when I get hugs and kisses and ‘I love you Mommy’, I know that I’m doing something right.

So when you’re having a rough day and things may not be going well; stop trying to be perfect and give yourself a break.

You’re better than perfect…YOU’RE A MOM.

Wordless Wednesday

Love this pic of Missy Miu during our Jamaican vacation. 

Joya... Our New Blog Contributor

I am super excited to add Joya to our Mamalicious Blog Team.  Here is her bio:
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I am the mother of 2 gorgeous, smart and rambunctious girls. One soon to be 7 year old that is more like a teenager than you could imagine. In other words…Drama! But so affectionate too. Then there is my 3 ½ year old who is the baby, the princess, the comedian and the trickster…and that’s all in one day!

I’m a working mom still searching for the manual on motherhood (can I borrow someone’s copy?). Each day is a test, challenge or triumph on how to keep it all together and still be ‘mamalicious’ (Ha! Like how I worked that in there?).

I am also a writer and a blogger.

 You can visit my blog at http://supermomdoesntlivehere.wordpress.com. Feel free to drop by and leave a comment!

My blog is where I am able to share all the anecdotes of my life as the very imperfect mom of two perfectly awesome (did I say rambunctious already?) kids!

But if that’s not enough on my plate, I’m also starting a new business called “Life Happens Gift Bags and Baskets” (website coming soon!).

“Am I crazy?” you might ask…

Of course I am! Isn’t being a bit crazy a prerequisite for motherhood?

Wait…is that just me?

Maybe One Is Enough

Recently Cee and I came to a difficult decision.  To stop at one child.

Why would I consider this a difficult choice?  Well, because society tells us otherwise. Apparently:

-Missy Miu HAS to have a sibling or two.   She'll be lonely...
...  She attends daycare everyday with 9 other classmates Monday to Friday.  When I pick her up after work her I observe her from afar before I let her know I've arrived.   I see her colouring at a table with the other children or I watch her acting out songs with her teachers.   When she does find out I have arrived I get the biggest hug and sloppiest of kisses and she shows off her use of toys in the room.

Now that the weather is nicer, I park the car in the driveway after the pick up and Missy Miu and I walk on the sidewalk to catch Dad driving by. He joins us, we maneuver the cracks on the sidewalks and catch up on the day.

Nope... not too lonely at all.

-She needs family when we "move on"
Hmmm... hope I don't offend any family members who may be reading this.  I have four siblings and let's just say we are not beating down each other's door as often as we "should".  So I think I will focus on fulfilling her life NOW and teach her the value of friendship so she can learn to build lasting relationships.

-One is an adjustment, two is a piece of cake
Yeah... maybe... but sometimes it's a huge adjustment when you are near middle age and you are struggling to prepare for retirement, pay off that mortgage and build your little one's RESPs.

Honestly I would like for us to be able to be fiscally responsible and comfortably provide for her.  It is my worst nightmare to have issues doing so.  And to work past 65 because I have to and not because I want to?  ( insert  picture of me gasping for air here...)

Before I hit submit on this post I feel I should be honest... It took 3 weeks to decide to publish my thoughts on more children.  Today I think I would like another, and I wonder how, when, if I should even present this to my hubby.   Next week I may feel differently again.  But I thought it was important to say... It's ultimately up to you.